Self soothing is a crucial skill for baby to sleep well and to sleep through the night. But, after the first easy weeks, most babies cannot easily put themselves to sleep. For many parents and babies, the classic put your baby down awake advice to promote self soothing simply does not work.

You may find yourself helping your little loved one with holding, rocking or nursing to sleep. Is this kind of sleep association really wrong? Are there other ways to help baby sleep? And how can we teach self soothing in a gentle yet effective way?

Why self soothing is so important to help baby sleep through the night

Pediatricians and sleep experts world wide agree that being able to self soothe is the key to good sleep. The reason for this is that, for children and adults alike, sleep comes in cycles. During each cycle, we go through different stages of sleep.

At the end of each cycle, we wake up briefly before the next cycle begins and we go through the same sleep stages again. This happens several times each night. It shows that we have a natural tendency to wake up: about each 50-60 minutes for babies and about each 90 minutes for adults. It takes self soothing to make it to the next cycle smoothly, without waking up fully.

So, to have baby sleeping through the night, really means that she is able to continue sleeping into the next cycle, without the help of a parent or carer.

Of course, other factors play a role such as the need to feed, health problems (cold, teething,...), comfort (a wet diaper, too hot or too cold,...), habit and other sleep associations.

Sleep associations: wrong or right?

A sleep association is an object, person or activity that baby associates with sleep. It can be her crib, a musical mobile, mom's breast, being held and rocked, carried in a baby sling or swinging in a swing, hearing a lullaby song,...

Such a sleep association can be very good at helping baby to find sleep. But of course the drawback is that it can be very hard for your baby to sleep in the absence of it. And baby may need the same sleep association when waking up at night as she had when first going to bed.

That is the reason why so many sleep consultants will tell you it is wrong to hold, rock or nurse your baby to sleep. Because a baby then depends on you to find sleep, and so will wake you often in the night.

But in real life, countless parents do help their young baby with sleeping. Sometimes it is the only way to get any sleep at all. Sometimes parents positively choose to be with their baby when going to sleep to provide the loving security that is such an important sleep association.

Helping your baby with self soothing

Most babies who have been helped and soothed to sleep by their parents in their first months, easily grow out of it and learn self soothing naturally between 6 and 12 months of age. Others take more time to become fully independent sleepers. Only some become extremely dependent and have a very hard time learning to self soothe.

At any point when you want to transition towards self soothing, the following steps will help you:

1) First of all, ensure you have the essentialsof good sleep well installed, such as a well suited regular baby sleep schedule, a simple predictable bedtime routine and a safe, pleasant sleep environment.

2) Use a gentle weaning approach. When you are used to putting your baby down fully asleep: gradually move to putting her down more and more awake. Take your time, progressing as little as a few minutes (so less deep sleep) each day can be all it takes. Getting your baby used to being put down half asleep, then drowsy, then awake is very effective.

3) Introduce a transitional object. This can be a favourite teddy bear, a blanket, a scarf you wear during the day so it has your scent, a musical mobile, a pacifier,... Such a loved object provides security and reassurance to help baby relax and sleep.

4) Avoid overtiredness. As contradictory as it may sound: nothing makes it more difficult to sleep than being too tired. Don't be fooled by your baby who seems extra full of energy in the late evening hours: it is most likely a sign of overtiredness. A well-suited, early bedtime is the best support for easy settling to sleep.

If you don't see any progress, your baby may not be ready for self soothing yet. Or she may be going through a common sleep disturbance like teething, a cold or other illness, baby separation anxiety, etc. In those cases, it is best to wait for a few weeks, and then try again.

Self soothing is the key to good and healthy sleep. It is ideal to help your baby sleep through the night now but it is also a skill for life that is well worth your patience and effort.

Continue your reading on self soothing, ways to help your baby sleep through the night, dealing with common sleep problems and sleep disorders or get personal advice through Heidi's free Ask A Question service.

Having researched sleep independently for 10 years +, Heidi Holvoet, PhD is a seasoned mother of two and certified breastfeeding counsellor who gives effective sleep advice to parents on Baby-Sleep-Advice.com.

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Help Your Baby Sleep

HELP YOUR INFANT SLEEP THROUGH THE NIGHT

Sleep is a thing of the past when you bring a newborn baby home. At first, a baby needs to be fed approximately every two to three hours, twenty-four hours a day. This means that one or both parents are waking up throughout the night with the baby. Babies have tiny stomachs which cannot hold very much in them, which is why they need to be fed so often. However, as the baby gets on in months, he can begin to sleep for longer stretches of time at night. There are a few techniques that can help get your baby sleeping longer, with the ultimate goal of having your baby sleep through the night.

Most pediatricians will tell you that "sleeping through the night" actually means sleeping six or more hours. Nevertheless, even six hours can be a welcome relief for most sleep-deprived parents.

Because babies typically wake up when their tummies are empty, one tip involves trying to ensure a full belly at bedtime. "Tanking" up a baby may help them sleep longer during the night. This technique involves nursing your baby (or giving a bottle if you are not breastfeeding) at his normal night time feeding. Then one and a half to two hours later, nurse your baby again, but try not to completely wake him up and avoid a diaper change, unless there is a bowel movement. Diaper changes tend to roust babies awake making it hard for them to go right back to sleep. The goal of tanking a baby up is to give him enough to help keep him satisfied through the night.

Another technique is to put your baby to bed later at night. Many babies tend to go to bed "for the night" relatively early. So for even those babies who are sleeping for a decent stretch of time, he is likely still waking you up in the middle of the night since you go to bed later than the baby. Try to get the baby on a schedule that is closer to yours. It is also wise not to go to bed too late yourself and risk wasting precious time that you could be getting in some sleep. If your baby goes to bed closer to your bedtime, then you will both have more time sleeping through the night.

Giving your baby a bedtime ritual is also a good way to signify night time sleep as opposed to shorter naps. Babies thrive on routine, so making a special bedtime ritual can help your baby ease into a deeper slumber at night. Perhaps a bath followed by a book before going to bed is just what the doctor ordered.

When putting your baby to bed, make sure he has a fresh, dry diaper and he's at a comfortable temperature. If you do not dress your baby warm enough, he is likely to wake up during the night.

Although it may sound strange, making sure your baby gets plenty of rest during the day with regular naps will help him sleep better at night. If he is not getting ample sleep during the day, it tends to disrupt a baby's ability to sleep peacefully through the night.

When your baby does wake up during the night, and he's at the age where he does not need to be fed as often, resist the urge to pick him up and feed him. Instead, go in and rub his back and help soothe him, but keep him in his crib. He will soon learn that crying for mommy and daddy will not get him out of bed. As a result, he will ultimately give up and go back to sleep. The best gift you can give your child is training him to soothe himself to sleep.

Bradley has been publishing articles online for several years specializing in a variety of topics. You can check out his latest website at http://babyfurniturechangingtableshop.com. There you can find the best deals and reviews on Baby Furniture Changing Tables.

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